This Is About Me And My Journey To The Baring Of My Soul

I am not a trained coach, psychologist, mentor, doctor, analyst, nor do I claim to be certified into any kind of mental health studies.

I have life experience and have home studied in the fields of philosophy, religion, psychology, self-help and personal development.

I claim no special powers or secrets to improve your life - however I can share what I have learnt myself on the way to my own realisation about life.

My own inner journey has brought about my understanding about myself - how I operate, how I think and why I react to situations the way I do.

By consciously developing different thought patterns and applying those changed thoughts, I have turned unconscious reactions into thought out decisions or conscious actions.

What brought about this catalyst in my life?

Whilst we all have our daily and life long challenges, for me my change started deep down just before and then after the breakup of my marriage. Like most people, my life comprised of changing hats to suit the role at the time. Wife, mother, finance manager, nurse, chauffeur, full time sales executive, volunteer.... the list goes on.

When the children left home I became what is commonly known as an 'empty nester'. Although I had a full time job, my whole reason for being seemed to disappear. I questioned everything I stood for and I searched for answers all over.

My husband couldn't understand the change in me. He couldn't comprehend why I was searching for 'more' - and I found it very difficult to explain - it was a kind of calling from my soul, it was a longing to be seen as me, I needed to find my lifelong needs and passions that were unique to me.

It wasn't until I realised I needed to delve deep into my own being that I could truly formulate, who I was and that it was 'ok' to be me.

I realised that I didn't have to perform or pretend and that I had a choice to say 'yes' or 'no' without feeling guilty or without the pressure to conform.

During my inner journey;

I learned from my Mother; to be independent financially (because she was not) and this learning was cemented in me from my broken marriage where I learned what it was to 'not' have a credit rating and how difficult that made my financial life on my own.

I learned from my Father how to keep going and create something from nothing. I learned from my brothers and sister how to play, how to have fun and how verbal words could physically hurt on the inside. I learned from my children and grandchildren what it is to laugh at the simplest of pleasures.

I learned how it felt when your precious son dies. I learned how it felt to die within yourself; when all things become irrelevant and all problems become pathetically insignificant.

I learned how to crawl from the ashes of death and how to live again in a world that never stops. I learned that whatever happens, peoples live continue on and you have to learn to live in it all over again.

I learned how you could operate ‘normally’ on the outside and yet be a crumbling mess on the inside.

I learned that life never stops and that it does continue – albeit in a different form – it is that learning that started my journey back into the living world of feelings and emotions.

I learned how to take control of all feelings and emotions – to acknowledge them, experience them and allow those that did me no good to leave with my blessings.

I learned to love and appreciate the simple things in life, like the noise of the waves crashing on the beach or how bright the galaxy of stars shine on a clear night.

So my message is that you can change your life around if you take the time to journey to your world inside.

With Love

Janis xx